Take a rest, now take a rest
by Chyrstis
Summary: Grab a sweater, grab a friend, looks like it's Christmas time again. -Post SR4-


_Disclaimer - This crazy bunch belongs to Deep Silver and Volition! I don't think they would be happy with anyone else at the reins._

So, this came about due to a discussion on Tumblr about picking a certain police chief back up after SR4 (also what on Earth could happen with the Saints Save Christmas DLC), and it took over from there. Does have some continuity with Take Two in that it would take place once that's over, but this is just silly fun. Happy holidays, eh?

* * *

"Wow."

"What?" Johnny asked, walking up behind her.

"I think they finally managed to fix the smell. I don't know how to feel about that."

Stilwater was its usual mixture of the new and the old, but the glowing purple skyscrapers that jutted out of the skyline were a reminder that this was where their little empire started. V walked up to the edge and took in the breeze. Actual moving air blew her hair into her face and she didn't care. It was real and she loved it.

"Nah, it's still there. Give it a second and it won't disappoint," Johnny said, his arms folded in front of him. "Strange to see it like this, though. Can barely recognize half of this shit any more."

"A lot of this was already on its way when we went to Steelport. I remember visiting later and wondering just what the hell Ultor was doing to Stilwater, but that's ancient history. Ultor always was kind of an asshole."

"Kind of?"

Gat raised an eyebrow and she backpedaled. "Okay, they were assholes of the highest caliber, but we wouldn't have built half of this without them. At least we got what we could before they had a chance to stab us in the back. Don't know if Gryphon would've done it, but those suits were always waiting for a chance to step up a rung."

"It's what they live on. Shame we didn't get to tell them just how we felt about that."

"Too true, man. Oh well. Not like it matters much now anyway. They're dust just like everything else."

The light from the streetlamps caught off of his sunglasses as they turned towards her, and she saw his frown out of the corner of her eye. "You want to hit anything special? Old haunts? Think we can kill a few hours at the derby before heading to Brown Baggers."

V tapped her fingers against her lips. "Freckle Bitch's is actually closed at this point, so that's out. Could hit the strip club for old time's sake."

"Fucking Tee'N'Ay." he muttered. "Don't think I'll ever know what your deal is with that place."

"Hey, it's a break from the Christmas bonanza. Can't be too bad, right?"

The morning that V had woken up to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer she'd felt a very particular kind of dread. Kinzie and Matt had set up a basic system for calculating the supposed calendar date, so the moment the music started she knew the holidays had arrived.

Matt had already instituted a series of tasks that needed to be done by the time she and Johnny showed up and they were swept into the chaos like always. Christmas had never been her thing, but seeing her friends and family light up after all of the shit that had happened made her want to reconsider.

So, when he told her they would need a few items she didn't complain too much when he put her on booze duty. The tinsel wasn't as fun, but she figured she could put up with it for just a little while, and having Johnny with her helped immensely.

"We caring about the colors?" he asked, as they strolled down the street towards the club.

"For the tinsel? Hell no, but I figure silver should be good enough, right? There's got to be a convenience store we can hit by the club."

"By the way, you get any of that on me and you're driving your own ass home."

She pouted. "You wouldn't."

"I would. After that shit at New Years and whatever the hell that bomb was-"

"I think it was glitter-based. The tinsel was, uh, being reused."

"Yeah, not fucking happening. Gets everywhere, and I'm not picking that shit out of my bed again. Might kick you out if you drag it in too."

"Considering the fact that you mostly stick to mine, I'll kick your ass before giving that up."

"You can try," he said, lowering his voice, "but I won't make it easy."

"Don't. I think I'm starting to like it," V teased. "But at least that mess doesn't seem to be on the great agenda. Do me a favor, though? Keep Pierce from opening his damn mouth about it."

"Oh, he won't."

She squinted ahead. Something was off, and it had a lot to do with the lack of blinking lights and people milling around. "Hey, you're seeing what I'm seeing, right?"

He gave a short laugh. "Fucking a. So much for that dance, boss."

Booking it, she ran until she could get a clear look at the front of the building. The broken windows and boarded up door made her want to pull her hair out. "Motherfucker! Ugh, they just had to take it. Of all the places..."

"Eh, it wasn't that great. The place had roaches the size of 'nades some nights, and I know they watered their shit down."

"It's the day before fucking aliens invade the planet and I can't get a damn burger or hit my preferred strip club." Her arms fell down to her sides. "The place doesn't even reek any more. ...This blows."

"Stripper poles back at the Saints House, right?"

"Yeah, but it's just not the same. Nothing really does stay the same, eh?"

"No," Johnny said, looking at her. "But we've got our ways of dealing with it. I'm buying, or you buying?"

V only let him see a bit of the grateful smile on her face. "Tinsel first, then I'm totally making you buy me something expensive."

* * *

"Oops." V picked a long strand of silver off of Johnny's jacket and tried to hide it. The glint was tough to miss and she knew he was narrowing his eyes at her. "Just the one, I swear."

"I should've dragged you back to the ship after throwing the first garland."

The door dinged as they went inside, and she made sure to stay a step ahead of him. "You always could later. I'm surprised that you even let me leave it after dropping everything off."

"I can wait. Don't know if you can," he said, hovering over her shoulder when she stopped by the wine section.

His hands were on her back, and she felt his fingers curl under the edge of her jacket. Her smile only grew wider when they came around to press her against him. "Really? I've got some evidence that states otherwise."

"You do plan on handling that later, right?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, leaning back into his arms. "I've got you covered."

"...V?"

She opened her eyes and her nails went right into the sleeves of Johnny's jacket. No matter how big Stilwater got, it would always be small enough to run into anyone you knew, and Troy was no exception. Even as chief he did have a thing called off-time, and right now he was spending it gaping at her in the aisle of a rundown liquor store.

She was just as ill-prepared for this and found it difficult to do anything but grimace. "Hey."

Then he saw Johnny. Gat didn't relax his grip on her for a second. "Yo."

The three-way stare down stretched on for what felt like hours. When Johnny's hold on her started to get unbearable she cleared her throat. "Guys? How about we make our purchases and take this outside?"

Prying Johnny's arms off of her was no easy task, and she gathered up a bunch of random things before shoving cash at the register and leaving. Gat was second, and Troy was a very uneasy third. When they finally met in the alley lining the store, Troy gestured towards Johnny, still not quite sure what he was seeing.

"He's dead," he finally forced out, "and you're supposed to be in the fucking White House."

"Technically I am?" she replied, her voice pitched a bit higher than usual. "Just because I leave the White House doesn't mean I'm not President..."

"That's grade A bullshit, and you know it. Unless you've just decided to fuck off and leave I'm not buying it, and you haven't even tried to explain him yet-"

"I'm not dead. Pretty fucking obvious if you ask me," Gat said.

"It's a long story, and it involves a whole lot of other things you'd easily classify as bullshit, so I don't know if I want to even bother with it."

Gat snorted. "Aliens and time travel too heavy a topic?"

"Shut up, Gat," she hissed.

"What? Lay it out, because it's not going to make a fucking difference. Earth's still going to be gone tomorrow."

Now that was an expression she'd never seen on Troy's face before. "_What?_"

"Okay, looks like we're doing this then." She cracked her knuckles and put her hands on her hips. "We're from the future. The Earth is going to be invaded by aliens tomorrow and things are generally going to go to hell and back. Johnny was being held captive, so we saved him, ripped the fucker's head off who did all of this, and now we're buying Christmas decorations."

"Because running an intergalactic empire's not enough. We need to cover it in sparkly shit."

"Will you shut up about the damn tinsel!"

Troy had his chin in his hand, and it didn't look like any of her words had gotten through at all. "I don't even know where to start with that."

"Well, I'd show you the mothership, but first you'd have to believe the alien bit." He pursed his lips and she could tell he was starting to get irritated. "I'm being serious here. Weird shit went down and bam! Here we are. I can't explain it any better than that, man."

"Short of beaming me up, right? Christ, do you even know what that sounds like?"

"Stupid! Absolutely stupid, so I don't understand why you think I'd lie to you and use that as an excuse!"

"You seriously won't ask?"

"Huh?" She turned to look at Johnny and the tight expression he was aiming at her didn't make any sense. "About...?"

He shook his head and almost glared at her. "That's fucking pathetic, V." She was ready to yell at him, but he was already moving over to Troy. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled out his phone. "Yo, Kinzie? We need a pick up."

"What?"

Troy looked at her, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Johnny. Not even when the flash hit.

* * *

This was not good. V wrapped her arms around Troy and kept him standing as he adjusted, but he was pale as he glanced around the room.

"The first trip's always fun." Johnny slapped a hand on his shoulder and gave him a brittle smile. "Welcome aboard."

He left and Kinzie took his place, giving V a very pronounced, 'Oh, really?' look. "Nice. One unexpected plus one."

"Wasn't really expected on my end either, but Gat has a way of doing whatever the hell he feels like, so..."

"Right." Kinzie seemed ready to get on her case more, but held her tongue. It took a lot of effort on her end, and V found that she appreciated it. "You might want to take him outside. He looks ready to throw up all over the equipment."

Luckily he was able to move when she tried to guide him, but they only got as far as the hallway before she had to sit him down. He'd regained some of his color by then, but he was far from okay. The unsteady way he kept on trying to take in everything at once told her as much.

"Don't think you've got any cigarettes around here, huh?" he asked after a moment, shifting his attention to her.

She crouched down in front of him and kept a hand on his arm. "No. I quit, remember?"

"Yeah, you did. Better willpower than mine at any rate. Fuck." He pressed a hand against his eyes and V didn't let go of him.

"You're out? You used to be pretty good at keeping one close by."

"Nah, I thought about it too. Quitting." Troy lowered his hand and took in a deep breath. "Regret it now, but that's always how it works. Fucks with you when it's least convenient. So, this is the...mothership?"

"Yeah, way too bright, right?" she asked, glad to keep him talking. "That's the problem with ships. No real lighting in space, so you have to compensate somehow."

He smiled, or tried to. "It's a bit much."

She smiled back. "I'll send in your complaint. Don't think Kinzie and Matt'll appreciate it, though."

They sat there for a few more minutes, giving him time to look around and get used to everything. Or at least time enough to accept it. She'd wait as long as he needed for that.

"Johnny said something that I'm trying to wrap my head around. Something about the Earth being gone."

"Yeah, he did run his mouth about that," she said, loving and hating his tendency to rip the band aid off as fast as possible. " It happened fast. They threw their weight around, took a decent chunk of the population and put them into a giant computer simulation. Kept people thinking things were fine when they weren't." She started chewing on her lip, but stopped when it started to sting. "Kinzie got me out. She got Keith, grabbed me, and then...boom. Gone. Nothing but dust."

He was watching her carefully then. Carefully, and with a much higher degree of understanding.

V kept on going just so she wouldn't lose her momentum. "Made a promise to kill the motherfuckers after that. Had to get the others out first, but I made their lives hell. ...And once I broke Johnny out he did the same. Seven years and he was stuck in there the whole time. Couldn't do a damn thing. Would've driven me nuts, but not him. Did what we do best after that, and then ended up here."

"Wherever here is."

She actually laughed. "Yeah, wherever here is. Could also say whenever, because we did take a fun sidetrip through space and time. Kinzie can give you a better breakdown on that, because it still makes my head spin."

"Think I'll pass," he said, blinking a few times. "I already need a keg, but I'd need two after hearing the actual science behind this shit."

"Same here. Kind of tuned out during that conversation." V touched his arm again and squeezed it lightly. "Um, I know we pulled a fast one on you, but...you're welcome to stay. We can get you set up and everything."

A faint smile spread out over his face, but he looked away. "Not much left to go back to at any rate, but why not? Nothing to lose here."

She stood up and he took her offered hand.

* * *

She poked her head into their armory and found Johnny there rapidly disassembling his pistol. He hadn't used it that day, so it gleamed as he ran through the cleaning process again and again as if on autopilot.

"Boss."

"Johnny." V leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms. "I'm not sure if I should thank you or ask what the hell you're trying to do. Again."

"Don't trust me?"

"Of course I do. I'm just trying to understand."

"You want him, right?" Her back went straight and she felt like she was in front of a firing squad. Johnny glanced at her from behind his sunglasses, and raised an eyebrow. "Simple question."

"With a simple answer?"

"Do I need to go into how many policeman's balls you went to out of the goodness of your heart? We're talking ten to fifteen here."

"Hey, I was doing him a favor. That's kind of what happens when someone decides it might be worthwhile to keep you on life support, but isn't a dickbag about it. He scratched my back, and I scratched his. Only fair."

"I bet."

V tried not to, but felt her face begin to heat. "Fine. I did also sleep with him from time to time, and not after every ball, just...most of them."

Her face went into her hand and she could hear Johnny chuckle. "Worst kept secret, V."

"We really did get kinda sloppy at times, eh?" she said with a sigh. "You wouldn't be calling me out otherwise. I think there was an attempt to move on in there somewhere as well, but I forget."

"You know the point of moving on is to move on, right?"

"Yeah, it is, and I did such a bang up job when it came to you too." His expression eased, but V spoke up first. "It's true. Seven years and what did I have plastered all over America? Johnny Gat memorabilia. Every time Pierce came up with something new I'd just approve it instead of looking it over, because it was you. Indirectly you, but I wanted the reminder. That was a huge mistake once I figured out what exactly happened to Mount Rushmore, but I didn't care. Probably would've done something offensive to the Washington Monument if I'd been given the chance. Pretty fucking pathetic, eh?"

"This Hallmark bullshit? Yeah, but it's our bullshit," Johnny said, coming closer. "That's between you and me. As for everything else, world was ending there tomorrow. Why not? You know it doesn't bother me, right?"

Her nod was slightly more hesitant this time. "Yeah, it's just...surprising. You don't strike me as the type to share." _And with him._

"I don't, but I don't own you," he said, completely serious. "...And let's face it, if it was going to be any motherfucker it was going to be him."

"You'd be the exception too, Gat," V said, keeping her head up. "If I'd been with him only, I'd still be eying you like crazy. It's tough not to."

"Couldn't resist?"

"Well, you either want to be Johnny Gat or fuck Johnny Gat, so..."

He chuckled. "True that."

"But you're getting way ahead of yourself here. Just because I'm interested in him doesn't mean that he's ready to bust my door down. It's not that simple. Kinda never was."

"Simple enough here, but whatever. We'll do this Christmas shit and figure it out from there. ...But I will snap Troy's motherfucking neck if he so much as breathes wrong. He had his warning."

"At the end of a shotgun, but he's well aware of that. Trust me there. I think he's still waiting for one last lucky stab."

Johnny smirked. "Good."

He reached a hand out to push her bangs to the side and V leaned forward, stopping just short of touching his lips. "I just shouldn't get my hopes up about the threesome, right?"

"What?"

"You know."

Her eyebrows went up and down, and he laughed before kissing her. "Dream on, V."

* * *

The next day she woke up to the sound of The Little Drummer Boy. Johnny groaned into his pillow and V stared up at the ceiling.

"Happy fucking holidays indeed."

"You sure we can't start throwing people out the airlock?" she heard Johnny mumble.

"No. We like these people, remember?"

He swore into the fabric and she couldn't help but grin.

Tinsel lined their doorway when she finally stepped out, and she nearly tripped over the trail of garland leading to wards the other areas of the ship.

She found Troy in one of the areas reserved for a mess hall. It had been converted into a haphazard kitchen by their combined efforts, but the only one who used it with any regularity was Asha. Pierce and Keith had a way with certain things, and Matt could whip up coffee strong enough to melt plastic, but the days when Asha took charge were always a treat. Even if she did crack the whip whenever help was required.

Right now there was no one poking around but him, and as she got closer she could see exactly what he was going for. Coffee, like always. That fact made her insides twist, but she did her best to hide it. "Hey. Feeding the addiction?"

"Trying to. You have any clean cups around here?" he asked, his back to her. The spacesuit was odd to see on him, but fit him well.

V tried not to grin as she started searching herself. "Matt runs through the stuff like a fiend, so that could be tough. Then again, everyone's been mainlining hot chocolate ever since we announced Christmas plans, so that could explain why we're short."

"Figures. Can't help the holidays."

Troy smiled at her and she nearly dropped the stack of plates she was shifting. "No fucking way." The moustache was gone, completely purged from existence.

Her hand lightly touched his face and he stood there patiently as she studied him. "Not a fan?"

"You have no idea how long I've wished you'd just go back to the damn goatee, do you?" He quirked his mouth and V brushed a finger against his cheek. He'd probably have a good five o' clock shadow going later, and she found the idea a hell of a lot more appealing than it should've been.

"So much for all those compliments," he said, sighing. "Thought I had a good thing going."

She wrinkled her nose. "You do. It's more of a 'in spite of this'-type of thing, though."

His hand grazed her wrist and she realized she was still touching him pretty freely. She let herself cup his cheek briefly, but withdrew when he began to move his thumb back and forth over her skin.

"Thanks." He cleared his throat and she made sure her attention was on the machine instead of him. "At least I think there was a compliment in there somewhere."

"Don't make me spell it out to you," she teased, trying to ignore the way her conversation with Johnny kept on lurking around the edges. "I'll just plead the fifth."

She yanked a cup out of the thing that she had designated as their dishwasher and handed it to him. The two had just started fiddling with Matt's fancy coffee maker when the doors to the room swished open.

"Boss? I have a question about the potential light set up. Are we going for predominantly purple, or should we go for a more traditional set up...?"

Matt's voice trailed off the moment he saw them standing next to the machine and V held her hands up. "My intentions are noble, I swear."

He narrowed his eyes, but still walked over to check it. "There's an intercom for a reason, you know. We only spent hours reworking the system to work fleet-wide." He pulled out the grounds and smelled them. "What did you put in here?"

"Nothing?"

The hacker took in a deep breath and exhaled. "Pierce. It has to be."

"So, Matt..." V gestured towards Troy. "I don't know if we went through the intros earlier, but Matt, Troy, Troy, Matt. Matt's our resident hacker and all around cyber-dweeb."

"Cyber-God, if you're going to go there. I worked hard to earn that title." Matt glared at her, but still shook Troy's hand when he offered it. "A pleasure. I've heard a lot about you." The pointed look he gave her after that statement was ignored completely.

"Huh. Haven't heard as much about you, kid, but I'd guess that's a good thing, right?"

"Yes, though I was until recently with MI6, so that does generally go over a lot better in normal conversations. Especially with police chiefs, I'd gather."

He went back to tooling with the machine and eventually got three cups of coffee out of it. V immediately drowned hers in creamer, and threw it back. "So, you wanted help with the lights?"

"Yes, because with the others I can barely get them to agree on a general range of colors let alone a scheme," he said, sounding frustrated.

"Looks like it's time to work the good ol' chain of authority then." She glanced up at Troy. "Care to join me? If things get bad I could use some sage advice."

It didn't take him long to decide. "Eh, why not?"

* * *

Introducing Troy to the others wasn't as bad as she expected it to be, considering most of them had indirectly met him in some form, while others like King had known enough about him to not need much more than a handshake. She kept him clear of CID, however, on principle. The last time she'd jokingly offered her hand to him she'd been shocked to within an inch of her life, and that wasn't fucking happening again. Especially not now.

Matt had hooked up a set of lights to display the colors and V pointed at a few just to narrow the search down. Troy stood by as the two argued, putting in a comment here and there, but when V asked him to act as a tiebreaker he refused. The glare she gave him was one of her better ones, and when he aimed his best disinterested look at her she swore she'd get him back at some point.

Shaundi ended up taking the role of decision-maker, and V laughed when she began the same set of arguments with Matt. They went full-circle with help from Keith before going for a purple and green combo, and V was all too happy to go with it just so they could get on with the other tasks.

Pierce was on Christmas music. He asked for any requests, and V turned to Troy. "Uh, something other than Jingle Bells twenty-four seven?" he suggested. "They kill that at the department and I usually break the disk halfway through November."

"They call it a classic, but I can see how that'll get old. Now, I was hoping to add a bit of a different spin this year," Pierce said.

V took the list from him and groaned. "The Twelve Wubs of Christmas? ...Did you collaborate with Matt on this?"

"Well, it's not all dubstep, but most of the songs-"

She ripped the list in half and handed it back. "You only get to pick half. Choose wisely."

Troy whistled as they left and V shook her head as Pierce asked loudly, "Half? _Half?_ You can't make me make that choice!"

The task of gifts was up to Kinzie, King, and Asha, with bonus help from Oleg. Oleg had greeted them as they walked around, but after the two watched them stare at the same set of information for a good five minutes, they moved on. Threats of a Secret Santa were thrown around the minute they ducked out, and V had a feeling she would have to check again later. That was not a threat to be taken lightly, especially with past years as proof.

Hours passed and things were getting hectic, but everyone seemed to be on their best game. With Christmas at stake there was no real alternative, and it started to amuse the hell out of her.

"Crazy, isn't it?" V asked, as they wandered into one of the rec rooms. She leaned against the pool table and picked up the 8-ball. "I knew everyone had some love of the holidays, but this is nuts. I wonder if we can change the lights on the outside to red and green..."

"You don't say." Troy was looking up with an interesting expression on his face. V followed his eyes and saw that the entire ceiling was covered in mistletoe sprigs.

Lowering her head, she blinked a few times and tossed the 8-ball up. "And the mistletoe fairy strikes again, it seems."

"Where the hell do you get that much?"

"Don't even try to think about it logically, man," V sighed. "We've got enough Christmas fever going on, I'm surprised it's not on all of the ceilings."

"You sure it isn't?"

V thought about it. "Dammit. Guess I'm going to have to kiss everyone. Again."

Troy took the spot on the table next to her, and folded his arms. "You sound thrilled."

"After the third round of make outs it starts getting interesting. Add eggnog - and I know Pierce is going to whip it up – and then people start dressing up, then dressing down, and...yeah. That's another holiday party that we can't look at each other after for a week afterwards."

"...You invited me to one of those a few years back."

V bit her lip. "Yeah, probably for the best that you weren't able to go. I'm sure you would've loved to wake up stuck in some odd combo, like Pierce and Viola. Was there a gimp in there? There totally could've been a gimp." She thought about it for a second and her mouth kept on going. "Or you could've been sandwiched between Gat and I. Lovely, eh?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and tried not to laugh. "Sure, if I'd be able to even wake up after that. I'd drink myself stupid and then get stabbed. Perfect end to the night."

"Well, I'd try to make it worthwhile first." The look he gave her made her shy smile even more so. "Johnny can also play nice when he wants."

He stood up and stepped in front of her, only roughly a foot away. "Don't know about that."

"You never know until you ask." Her fingers reached out to touch his arm, and played with the textured fabric of the suit. He chuckled and it finally registered to her that for the last minute or so it sounded like she was trying to pitch a threesome to him. With her and Johnny.

She blushed hard.

V got up and tried to cut around him, but he held his arm out to catch hers. "V."

"Uh, yeah. What's up?"

"You two. There's something there, right?"

"...Yes."

He didn't seem surprised, but there was something else there as well. "Okay. That's one thing. What I don't get is...this."

"This? I thought it was kind of straightforward." She slowly traced a finger down the zipper of his suit. "This is certainly something."

Troy closed his eyes and grabbed her wrist. "Something what?"

Her throat was growing tight and she was surprised that she could even get the words out. "Something that Johnny and I are okay with."

The grip on her wrist wasn't tight, but it wasn't loose either. "You _and_ Johnny?" he asked, opening his eyes again.

"Yeah. He pretty much had us pegged from day one, so...he knows, and he's perfectly okay with it."

He wet his lips and stared at the floor. "I, uh, don't know what to think about that."

"It's a bit much to be hit with, eh?" His fingers loosened and she touched his suit again, but didn't drift too far.

She saw him swallow, but he didn't retreat. Instead he gently touched the side of her face, almost mirroring what she did earlier. Her lips pressed against his palm and she had to fight to keep herself from stepping forward.

But that discomfort was still there. That didn't sit right with her at all.

"Maybe I should go," she offered, pulling back. "I don't think I went over this the way I should've, so..."

A sympathetic look crossed his face and she felt herself withdraw even more. "V, relax."

He moved closer and she ducked around him, heading straight for the other room.

* * *

"All right, this took forever to actually decide on, but in the spirit of the season we need to follow everything to the letter. As a means to inspire and spread our traditions to the Empire, per se, we are going to show them our spirit with an old classic."

Matt stood up and in his hands was one of the ugliest sweaters known to man. The Santa head in the middle appeared to be at least the third cousin of Satan.

"Sweet Jesus, Matt. You didn't actually pay for that, did you?" V asked.

"No, but that's the beauty of popping in and out of a system that technically no longer exists." He dropped it and picked another up to hand to her. "After you, boss."

She reluctantly pulled on the sweater and in the cheeriest font ever was the following message, 'Happy Holidays, you're an asshole!' Reindeer pranced along the front, and by the time she got to the snowman she gave Matt a dirty look. "The hell is this?"

"Special order! I don't know why, but it suits you."

"You little shit."

Matt laughed nervously. "So, who's next? You can form a queue here and I know we'll find something for everyone. Have to be ready for the group photo, after all."

The mood in the room was glacial.

"Line up," V barked. "If I'm wearing this, you're all wearing this."

Most of the decorations had gone up, so this was one of the last finishing touches. It did not go over well at all, and she had to practically wrestle Gat into his. The promise to help him out of it later seemed to seal the deal, but he still groused the entire time.

In the end only two of them were really missing, and while CID was easy enough to find, Troy was absent as well. V held the silly sweater up and tapped her foot. It'd been over a day since she'd put her foot in her mouth, but maybe enough time had passed for her to be able to look him in the eye again.

She turned and something green smacked her in the face. The branches covering it snagged on her hair. "Fuck!"

"Yo, found this outside our room earlier," Johnny said, smirking. "Thought you'd like to see it."

"Nice one, Gat. Is that...made of mistletoe? Or is that all glued onto a-" Her jaw dropped. "Please tell me that's not using what I think it is for the base."

"Oh, that's definitely what you think it is." He waved it at her and it nearly slapped her cheek. "It had a tag on it. Want to guess who left it?"

She didn't need three guesses. "Kinzie. Love the girl, but I'm not sure who I'm going to have to dickslap some holiday cheer into. Eh, there's always you."

"Why do you think I grabbed it first? Way too slow, boss."

The bat then drifted over her head, dropping a spring of mistletoe down. Her exasperation kept her from seeing his intent until the very last minute. Bits and pieces poked her in the back of the neck as he hooked her with it, but it didn't matter with the way he was kissing her.

"This is payback for the sweater, isn't it?" she asked, grabbing him by the glittery collar. "Not a fan of polar bears?"

"The thing could be dipped in sugarplum shit and I wouldn't give a fuck. It's coming off."

He pushed her up against one of the tables and Pierce groaned nearby. "Hey, can you two hold up for even a minute? We've got more decorations to put up!"

"Matt's already got his Nyte Blayde stuff hung," V replied, finding it tough as hell to concentrate with Johnny's mouth on her neck. "The others are icing, ow! Teeth, Gat."

"Sorry," he said, grinning before pulling back. "Slipped."

_Liar. _"Think you could help them get the rest of that crap up? I want to get this damn sweater carted off before Matt decides to have me double up. You see Troy anywhere?"

He gestured towards the back. "King's got him cornered."

King – in a smartly done navy blue and white snowflake sweater – was talking to Troy, and V let out a breath before separating herself from Gat. "Excellent. Now watch where you swing that thing. You'll put an eye out."

Gat's smile grew dirty and she tried not to share it as she walked away.

"...So, when we started on the trail it wasn't that difficult to convince her to leave some things to the imagination. Let the public fill in the blanks rather than showing them themselves," she heard King say as she approached. "Worked just fine up until the time we stopped in Nevada. Let's just say that there are certain people in Vegas that if they had talked they would've had some interesting visitors in the morning."

Both of Troy's eyebrows were raised, and V started strongly shaking her head as she got closer. "King? You can stop that conversation right there, because I could've sworn you agreed that we weren't going to bring that up? Ever?"

"Things changed, girl. Might end up salvaging some parts of that story for a bit in the new book, but I am going to have to spend some time going over your stint with that so-called dance troupe-"

Grabbing Troy by the arm, she dragged him away before King could finish. That did not need to be known by anyone but her, Keith, King, and Shaundi.

"Dance troupe?" he asked, giving her a half-smile. "Thought I heard a couple of rumors about that."

"Rumors are rumors, and I'll correct anyone who tries to confirm them. Thoroughly." She picked up the sweater she'd left behind and tossed it towards him.

He caught it and immediately eyed it with distaste. "We really doing this?"

"No choice there, chief," she said with her hands on her hips.

Seeing him frown severely due to nothing but the damn sweater made her giggle and she slapped a hand over her mouth. He glanced at her briefly then put it on, sighing deeply once he got a better look at it. "I swore I'd avoid this shit during the holidays."

"Well, this is how we do it. Welcome back."

Her slow grin earned one from him, but she turned away before he could respond.

* * *

"Hey."

Johnny didn't turn his head to say anything, but Troy seemed to know he'd heard him. He held out a beer, one of the ones they had taken from Brown Baggers, and Gat took it, cracking it open as he took the spot on the wall by him.

The others had abandoned any attempt to draft Johnny for this round of activities, and were in the process of trying to put the large green tree up. Kinzie's alternate was running smoothly off to the side, but after what happened with it the day before, he was content to leave their fuck ups to them. No one needed to be on the bad side of a malfunctioning purple tree, and he'd almost lost his glasses when he took a 'branch' to the face.

V led the fight this time, throwing crooked branches at Shaundi and Pierce as they ignored Keith's instructions on how to put it together. Troy laughed under his breath, and Johnny didn't miss the way he kept on looking at her.

"So, how's it been?"

Johnny put the beer back and wished they had bought more. "All right. Being dead does have its perks. No interviews, no photo shoots, none of that shitty body spray. Almost was the life."

"Death's a picnic then? Somehow I doubt that."

"You would."

Troy looked over at him, nothing bitter present on his face. "V kind of gave me the breakdown. Seven years?"

"Seven fucking years. When she tore that motherfucker's head off I almost wished I'd done it."

"Shit. Just locked away?"

He drained more of the beer. "Yeah."

" It surprised me, you know. When they said that you'd died," Troy said, rubbing his fingers together. "Hell, I didn't think anything short of the National Guard could take you. None of us did. She took it hard." He crossed his arms and let his eyes drift over to her. "It didn't help that they were hit on the way to the funeral, but she called me around that time. Hadn't had any time to head back to Stilwater yet, and...it was tough to hear."

Gat's grip on the bottle tightened. "V knew what she was doing."

"Still, man, how else do you react when it's someone you'd never considered?"

He recalled the hours she'd spent flipping through the lists of people taken from Earth and shrugged. "You do what you need to. She's boss for a reason."

Troy gave it a moment, then smiled faintly. "She is one hell of a woman, isn't she?"

The corner of Johnny's mouth curled up as he watched her try to calm an irate Matt. "Puts up with our shit. Has to get some credit for that."

V pushed a giant Christmas stocking into Matt's hands and tugged at the sweater covering her with irritation as she stomped around. They weren't trying to, but they caught her eye in the middle of it. She came to a stop and waved her hand once, her long red hair tangled around her head. They both returned the gesture and she flicked her eyes between them before getting back to work.

"She, uh, actually brought up something earlier." Troy said, staring out at the now flashing lights. "Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to me still, but I wanted to get your opinion on it,"

"And?"

"I feel like I should get a waiver signed first. No offense."

Johnny almost sneered. "Just spit it the fuck out."

"In for a penny, eh? Fine. She seems to want a relationship."

"Yeah?"

"With both of us."

Johnny finished the bottle and threw it across the room, aiming for what he guessed was a trash can. It smashed against the side and fell into a mess of wrapping paper. "Your point?"

"Well, fuck," Troy said, running a hand through his hair. "That answers one question. The second isn't any better."

"Ask it anyway. We're not going anywhere."

"I'm sure I know the answer, but what about-"

"Fuck no," he stated, cutting him off.

"Cause she was giving me some mixed signals there," he replied, trying not to grin at Johnny's indignant look. "All you got to do is ask, man."

"Laugh it up, but I'm not going to touch your dick. Not my thing."

"What a fucking shame," Troy deadpanned. "You know, she was joking about that earlier."

"What?"

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "About the three of us messing around."

Gat watched as V tried to pull the string of lights up the actual Christmas tree only to have them get caught on a low branch. "No shit."

"No shit."

"And now you're trying to pitch something to me? You shouldn't have."

"No, it's just...some damn coincidence."

He waited a minute while V almost knocked herself off of the ladder. "Think she'd be up for it?"

Troy didn't do a double-take, but he definitely appeared as if he'd heard him wrong. "What?"

"I think I'd even let you get a free pass for the night. Let you walk out without beating the shit out of you. Just the one time."

Pierce started making signs with his hands while V yanked the cord and flipped him off three different ways. "This is a real conversation, right?"

"Real enough." Johnny ran a hand over his chin as Matt tried to intervene. "She's here because of you. Think that means we agree on something."

Troy slowly turned away as that sank in, and Gat remained silent.

* * *

"What's left?"

Keith got the bottom of the hastily scribbled list and showed it to her. "Gifts, and judging from your contribution at the end, excessive alcohol consumption."

"Oh, yeah, that's mine," she said, smirking. "That was pretty much the plan during this entire thing, but it's hard to get smashed when your crew insists it's bad form to get soused and take part in any decision making."

"After Vegas? I agree."

She rolled her eyes. "Not you too. You're never going to let me live it down, are you?"

"No."

"That's just cruel, Keith. Either way, you've all been busting your asses for almost a week now. Don't you think we should take a break? It's two damn days to Christmas. I think we can kick back and act stupid."

"Always time to do that last one, but I'd talk it over first. Gauge their reaction."

V reached for the intercom. "Hey, Kinzie?"

"_Boss?"_

"I'm instituting a mini-holiday. No more work until everyone's had enough alcohol to fail the basic line test. It's two days until Christmas and we haven't even had our customary yuletide shots. Pathetic."

She sighed. _"And you want me to pass it along?"_

"Make it a damn decree. We're doing this shit."

"_Fine, but I'm not getting the suit out again."_

Peering at Keith out of the corner of her eye, she laughed nervously. "Yeah, no. No one ever needs to see that ever again."

"_Even if it was your idea to have people sit on your lap?_"

Her finger punched the button. "Ix-nay on the onversation-cay, Kinzie."

"_It was an interesting shade of red."_

She threw her hands up and left, ignoring Keith's questioning gaze.

* * *

Pierce's music blared from the speakers as the small party took off, and V did a shot of every holiday color known to man before plopping down next to Johnny. "How the hell did we go so long without any of these?"

"Didn't know you missed them," he said, draping an arm across her shoulders. "I remember you spending more time bitching about awful music and people taking a swim in the aquarium than having a good time."

"You have no idea what they charged to clean that, do you? Also, people had no right to have sex in there. They got points for creativity, but no." She leaned into his side and he started massaging the back of her neck. The buzz she had made it divine, and she knew he was enjoying her reaction. "Fuck. Watch those hands of yours."

"Or what?"

Gat increased the pressure and she giggled. "Or I'll have to have them later. Maybe all over."

"I don't take requests, but I might make an exception," he said, his pitch low.

Green light played off of his sunglasses and she placed a hand on his leg, knowing full well that the table they were sitting at wasn't going to do shit to hide them. "For your boss?"

His lips teased at her ear. "What do you think?"

"Well...shit."

Her casual attempt to sit up was anything but smooth as Shaundi stumbled over, red-faced and desperate. "Boss. You need to get out here. Miller keeps on doing the hustle and I need my eyes to see."

"And you're coming to me?" V asked with a laugh. "I don't know what to say."

"Just don't leave me out there alone." _Please,_ her eyes begged.

There was no way she'd ever turn down a look from her like that. "Sorry, Gat. My girl needs me," she said, getting up. "Hold on to that spot for me while I'm gone?"

He raised his beer to her and leaned back in his chair. "No problems there, boss, just don't let loose too hard. Don't know if the crew's ready for that."

She gave him the finger, and Shaundi pulled her away before she could add a comment to that. Her actual dancing was pretty damn coordinated for the amount of booze in her system. It was that perfect balance that kept her swaying in tune to the music, and she made sure to dance a bit with everyone bothering to give it a shot. Pierce always played off of her the best, responding fast, but Shaundi was on it that night. V pulled her over to see if they could all get something working and did so until the lights in the ceiling shifted to purple.

When Matt took a break to offer antlers to any interested parties she made a hasty exit, going back to Johnny's table. She almost stumbled when she saw Troy there. They appeared to be talking, civilly even, and she eyed the two of them as she made her way over.

"Now this is an interesting thing to see," she said, perching herself on the table edge between them. "If you're conspiring against me please let me know now, because the idea of having you two work together again is terrifying."

Troy chuckled. "Don't worry about it, I'm too far gone to be anything close to helpful. Can still call a shit idea when I hear it, though."

"Fuck you," Gat replied. "At least we'd be doing something instead of just talking about it."

"Right, because that's exactly what we should be doing." Troy took a large gulp of his drink and V noticed the wince he made at the end.

She whistled when she saw what it actually was, though, because she knew that Pierce hadn't gone easy on any part of the eggnog recipe this year. It was about a quarter gone, but Troy seemed nothing but relaxed. "You mind if I...?"

He handed it to her and she took an experimental sip. "Phew, hope you know what you're handling there."

"This might be my second."

"Might?"

Troy thought about it for a moment. "He has a bad habit of refilling as you go. Lost track after the third time he offered to top me off."

She groaned and shook her head. "Dammit, Pierce."

"He's not dropping yet, but it'd be pretty fucking pathetic if he did," Johnny said, sticking to his beer. "Used to be able to keep up."

"Yeah, what, ten fucking years ago? And drinking against you isn't worth the hangover. Learned that the first time."

"Hear, hear," V agreed, stealing another drink. "Think I've finally learned my lesson there."

"Fucking lightweights."

She let herself sit there for a while, dangling her feet in the air after Troy managed to get his drink back. The bass started to travel through the table and she tapped her fingers along with it while everyone else started to sing along to the new track.

"Let's get out of here." Troy lowered his glass and Johnny turned towards her as she gestured towards the back. "I feel like watching a movie all of a sudden."

* * *

An explosion went off and she let out a loud laugh. "Yippie-ki-yay all night long, motherfucker!"

"You do this every year?" Troy asked, still chipping away at his eggnog.

"Yeah, it's tradition," she said, looking up at him. Her head was resting on his lap while her legs were draped over Johnny, and she might've been enjoying it a bit too much. "Got to ring in the holiday season right."

"And not with fucking Roadhouse," Gat said, unable to dodge the punch she leaned up to give. "No, we aren't doing that again."

Troy grinned. "Shit, you still watch that?"

"Oh, shut up," she said, laying back down. "You only had to see it once, so don't complain."

"And only half of it."

He tilted the eggnog back and V jogged her memory. She wished she hadn't, because she was left wanting a cigarette. And him, but that was beside the point. "Can't remember if it was the better or worse half."

"The part you don't remember's the better half," Johnny added, squeezing her leg. "Surprised we can get through a movie anymore."

"That's because you have this problem with getting distracted," she said, liking the way he was slowly rubbing the area above her knee. She glanced up at Troy. "We used to do these marathons. They used to relate to whatever we could dig up at the time, so that probably explains why we had so many kung fu nights."

He put the glass down and she felt one of his hands play with her hair. "Can't go wrong with that."

"It was fun until I almost put myself through a glass table. I really don't think a lot things through before I do them."

"Wouldn't have you any other way, V," Troy said, and she stared up at him, her fingers tapping idly away on her stomach.

"Um, you know," she started, her eyes shifting between him and Gat, "I think they hit my room as well. With the mistletoe."

Johnny smirked slightly as she floundered, and Troy quickly checked the ceiling. "Huh. Guess they did."

"Gat's spoken for, but I don't think I've gotten to you yet."

"No," he said softly. "Think I'd remember that."

He leaned down and she pushed herself up to give him a small peck on the lips. Her hand curled into his hair on the second, and by the third his mouth was open against hers.

Gat's grip on her leg tightened briefly, and she felt his hands start traveling up to her knees. It should've felt strange on all fronts, but all she wanted was more of the warm feeling sinking into her. It made her skin burn, and when Troy got her sweater off she practically sighed in relief. The zipper fell after that, and she moaned when his mouth began to move over her neck.

The upper half of her suit came off of her arms, and as it was tugged down she knew that Johnny was to blame for it. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her stomach as he continued to peel the rest of it off, and she tried not to raise her hips any higher to meet him.

His tongue on her inner thigh made her jump, however, and he didn't wait for her to react to the sensation. The gasp that left her when he put his mouth over her clit was sharp, and when Troy's hand slipped under her bra she welcomed the rush.

That didn't help her understand just what the hell was going on, however.

Her hands went up in a sloppy time out. "Hey," she said, her nerves on overdrive, "c-can you two hold on for a hot minute?"

Johnny sighed against her hips and Troy came to an uneasy stop.

"I am about a minute off from an orgasm, and I'm stuck between believing it's real, and wondering if I'm face-down in a ditch somewhere."

Troy sat up, flushed, and avoided her eye. Gat moved back, but wasn't even half as hesitant. "Pretty positive you're here, V."

"Then can either of you explain why it seems like you're perfectly okay with this? Whatever this is." Both stayed silent, Troy's jaw clenched more than Johnny's and she got up off of the couch. Her legs wobbled and she was surprised she was even able to. "Okay, now I _know_ you talked about it before coming in here."

"Not exactly," Troy offered, still refusing to look at her. "It was brought up, but-"

"You don't plan this shit," Johnny said, cutting in. "Well, you can, but this wasn't."

V ran a hand through her hair and tried to make her heart rate calm back down, but it was getting pretty damn difficult with both sources of the spike sitting in front of her. After that stunt, she wasn't sure if it would ever be capable of dropping. "I'm not drunk enough for this. ...Or maybe I'm not sober enough. Either way, this...is this going to be a thing now?"

"Can be," Johnny said, one arm now draped across the back of the couch. "If you want it."

"Troy?"

He stopped staring at the wall and gave a small nod. "Your call."

V blinked at the two of them and every inch of her was hopelessly turned on. That was not conducive to actual problem solving, especially when all she wanted to do was to climb onto one of their laps while the other got the rest of her clothes off. "Oh. _Oh._ ...Okay?"

She was also not drunk enough to handle this with confidence. The two men appeared skeptical, and she wanted to kick their asses for actually making this option an option. Hell, for actually making it a plausible one.

"You know I've gotten off to both of you, right?" V stated. "On my own without much help? You can both nod, because I know I've blurted it out at some point in time, and I'm okay with fessing up to it again." Gat gave her a wicked grin and Troy's face remained red. Both nodded. "Okay, good. Now let me just say that my brain never let me connect the dots and get _that_ creative. God, now I'm kind of glad it didn't, because...I like this. I like it a whole hell of a lot."

"It's not something I would've come up with either, but...I'll try," Troy admitted. "Still not sure how it's going to go the minute we walk out the door, but you never know, right?"

"Famous last words, but yeah," she said, feeling shy again. "You never do." She pointed to Johnny. "You are just surprising the hell out of me, though. Everything squared away on your end?"

"Why wouldn't it be? Could've killed him three times during the movie, but he's still breathing, and that's after he groped at you." The glare Troy gave him cut, but Gat only laughed. "What? You want me to show you how it's done later?"

Johnny always did have of way of meaning what he implied, and it made her want to hit him and kiss him all at once. "Cut that shit out. No one's doing anything else tonight, because while I'm sure it'd be great to fuck you both into the wee hours of the morning, I actually need some damn sleep. We'll go over this more tomorrow when we're all guaranteed to be sober. Now if you'll excuse me..."

She shut off the TV and walked right over to the bed to crash face down onto it. They glanced at her over the back of the couch as she pulled the covers up and yawned.

"You know I sleep in here, right?" Gat said, raising an eyebrow.

"And?" she asked, slipping her bra off. "Feel like sleeping outside?"

He got right up and started stripping. "Fuck no."

Johnny climbed in right beside her and V couldn't help but grin at their self-imposed third wheel. "I'm not kicking you out, by the way."

"Clothes optional, or a requirement?" Troy asked, as he gave her a wry look.

"You get in here with that sweater still on, and I'm burning it on the spot."

It hit the floor and she had no complaints from there.

* * *

She almost bumped into Shaundi the following morning. She had a large stack of presents in her hands and V helped her stop from falling.

"Close one, boss."

"You're telling me. Is this for the Secret Santa?"

Shaundi nodded. "Yeah, this is what everyone's thrown at me so far, so you might want to talk to your chief before he forgets his entry. Johnny too."

"That'll be a fun conversation." V handed the gifts back over, then noticed the way Shaundi was eying her sweater. She glanced down.

"He wasn't happy with his?"

It was one of the shrewdest questions she'd ever heard, and V really had to give it to her. "No. Apparently he'd rather be called an asshole than have to wear something with elves all over it."

"Ah. I'll pass that on to Matt then. Careful, or he'll try to order Troy another one."

She was the picture of innocence. "Got it."


End file.
